God, I'm Broken...

What I am feeling lately is that all my body aching, it goes trough my heart. It seems like every single thing that I don't like can snapped me in a blink. He don't even realize that what he did to me is hurt, it still linger. It already healed by time but then he come again. They come again.

I wish I can stop the time, I am too scared, what-ifs always poping up on my mind. God, I'm scared. I want someone to help me but I don't even know what kind of help they can give? I always look up to myself in the mirror then I thought "Damn, you're screwing up with them again." I am trying to stop, or maybe I was but the feeling is so strong. I can't deny it, or I won't.

God, I kept waiting him. I'm getting tired, the only thing that he can do is destroy me. I knew. But I keep waiting, again and again. How far do I have to run chasing him this time? Or maybe I should stop. He is so far. I keep thinking that he just go for a moment but then the part of me believe that he's already gone and will never come back no matter how hard I try. I am alone right now.

Somebody help me...